• Wardrobe Tips For Guys- If Clothes Make the Man, Are You in Trouble?

    There’s a lot of truth to that old saying, “The clothes make the man.” You may be able to snag a date online with your studly good looks and charm her into meeting you at a coffee shop with your witty repartee; but if you want there to be a second date, you’re going to have to look as good as you sound. That doesn’t mean suit and tie, but dirty jeans and a stained t-shirt aren’t going to cut it.

    Dating style adviceSure, many men do take an interest in fashion these days. But take a look at the guys you pass on the street or see at the coffee shop when you’re standing in line for your double espresso. The fashion-challenged still make up an impressive sector of the male community. Even men who seem to have a grasp on fashion basics often fall into a rut, never venturing beyond the one or two “looks” they know look good – no matter how dated those looks may become.

    Despite the stereotypes, this isn’t just a male problem. There are plenty of women out there who don’t know how to dress, as TLC’s What Not to Wear repeatedly points out, but we’re talking about men here. So why do so many men fail to impress in the wardrobe department?

    • Some men just don’t care that much about clothes and like to stick with what’s comfy.
    • Some men loath shopping at any store that doesn’t carry power drills and socket wrenches and would rather keep wearing the same tired look they’ve worn for the past decade than step inside a clothing store.
    • A lot of men just don’t know how to shop. Even if they pick up the occasional copy of GQ, they’re clueless when it comes to putting a look together.
  • Flirtexting

    Flirtexting Tips: Keep It Fun and Flirty

    It’s fun and flirty and the newest dating gimmick. Called “flirtexting,” it’s flirting via text messaging (see our previous post). Kind of like Twitter for daters, flirtexting is a way to be intimate without getting serious. Keeping in touch with each other by sharing little thoughts and observations as you both move through the day is a great way to get to know each other better. Best of all, because the connections are casual, brief, occasional and don’t require an immediate response, flirtexting exerts none of the pressure that can make daters feel crowded or pressured early in a relationship.

    can be a lot of fun, but improperly used, it can scare off someone you’re interested in. So be careful and follow these tips to keep flirtexting fun and flirty:

    • Keep it short. Like tweeting, messages should be brief; not more than a dozen words.
    • Learn the lingo. Flirtexting uses the same cryptic acronyms and shorthand abbreviations as Twitter and text messaging (LOL, FYI, etc.). Only use the most common; if you use something too obscure or make something up, your date won’t know what you’re talking about. Brush up on text lingo at Webopedia or Netlingo.
    • Keep it fun. This is a great place to give your date a glimpse of your humorous side. Keep messages casual. Share something interesting or funny you saw or heard. This isn’t the place for serious issues.
    • Don’t overdo it. Like tweets, a little goes a long way when flirtexting. You don’t want your date to feel like he or she’s being stalked. Too many texts makes you look insecure and needy. A short volley of back and forth texts is OK occasionally; but otherwise, limit your contacts to 3 or 4 a day.
    • No heavy breathing. Keep the sexual innuendo light and casual. You don’t want to send your date the wrong message by getting hot and heavy too soon. Give the relationship a chance to develop. Tease; don’t pant.
  • Updating Your Dating Headshot? Tips for a Great Photo Shoot

    As we noted in our last post, your dating headshot is the single most important part of your online dating profile. A well-lit, beautifully composed professional photograph will showcase your natural attractiveness to best effect and attract attention. Online dating is all about first impressions, and it’s your dating headshot that causes a potential date to click on your profile and delve deeper or keep on clicking. With so much riding on your online dating profile photo, it’s smart to invest a few dollars in a professional photo shoot.

    photographerWhen you arrive at your photo shoot, you’ll want to be prepared and ready to go. Before the photographer starts clicking, spend a few minutes chatting about the image you want to portray in your dating profile photos. If there are any specific types of photos you want, make sure the photographer knows this up front; but listen to his suggestions too. After all, you’re paying for his professional expertise, so trust his advice.

    You should arrive at the photographer’s studio with your hair, makeup and nails complete, but make sure you bring cosmetics and hair supplies with you for quick touch-ups.

    A few words to the wise about hair and makeup:

    1. Experiment with hair styles well ahead of time so you have plenty of practice styling your hair the way you want it to look.
    2. Don’t get a hair cut or color job any sooner than a week before the shoot.
    3. Keep makeup, simple, fresh and natural.
    4. Line your lips to add definition but keep it subtle. Dip a cotton ball in powder and dust lips to prevent bleeding.
    5. Use eyeliner and mascara judiciously. Again, keep it subtle.
    6. A heavier than usual coat of translucent powder will prevent shine and make your skin look flawless when photographed.
    7. A little lip gloss is fine, but avoid makeup that shines or sparkles.
  • A Great Headshot Increases Online Dating Performance

    You may not be able to judge a book by its cover; but if the cover isn’t attractive, you won’t open the book! That’s the consensus of study after study. Research shows that people are drawn to attractive people. The attraction appears to be instinctive, rather than learned. When babies were shown pictures of attractive women and plain women, the photos of attractive women elicited a more animated response. The perception that attractive people are more socially popular, get more dates, move up the corporate ladder more quickly, and generally have an easier time in life is more fact than fiction.

    woman_readingWhile that’s great news if you are fortunate enough to have been blessed with the “beauty gene,” it’s a little disappointing for the rest of us who are saddled with “average” looks. In the online dating world where you’re primarily judged by your photo, average looks can be a downright handicap. Be honest with yourself; when you’re browsing through dating headshots on an online dating site, how many times have you opened the dating profile of someone with an unattractive profile photo? It’s the men and women with attractive, professional online dating photos who get the most hits.

    Attractive people benefit from what statisticians call the “halo effect.” Research has shown that people have a tendency to attribute positive traits and behaviors to someone who has made a positive first impression, even if subsequent events prove their judgment wrong. When people view an attractive photo on an online dating site, it predisposes them to assume other nice things about that person. That’s the power of a great dating headshot; it creates a positive first impression that makes you seem imminently more datable.

    Now here’s the good news. With the help of a professional photographer experienced in creating flattering dating headshots, you can join the attractive crowd and improve your online dating opportunities. So, what are you waiting for?

  • New Year; New You! It’s time to Jump Back in the Dating Game

    If you spent another New Year’s Eve on the sofa with your cat and a quart of Haagen Dazs (or chomping pizza and watching kung-fu classics), it’s time to shake off your dating malaise. 2011 is a brand new year filled with potential. Put last year’s failures behind you and vow to start the New Year with a New You and can get back out there!

    woman online dating success

    Many people have trouble getting in step with today’s dating scene.  It’s common today for people to push off looking for a partner to focus on building a career. As you start cruising into your mid-30s, you may suddenly notice that many of your friends seem to be pairing off and starting families. If you find yourself the lone singleton in a crowd of marrieds, the tick of your own biological clock can sound pretty loud: Why them, not me?

    Allowing yourself to wallow in the unproductive misery of what isn’t will keep you mired in dating limbo. If you want to turn your dating life around, you need to take a hard look at yourself, your dating behavior and your dating goals:

    • Dating goals. Start with your dating goals. Honestly answer the questions, “Why am I dating? What am I looking for?” Are you looking for fun with no strings attached? Or are you actively seeking a partner to share a committed relationship, maybe even marriage?
    • Dating behavior. Analyze your dating behavior. Who, where and how you date should lead toward your goals. You may need to change online dating profile, dating venues or activities to increase opportunities to meet people who share your interests and goals.
    • You. Look in the mirror. Give yourself every opportunity to succeed. If necessary, update your appearance and clothing. Polish your manners. Make sure you’re always well-groomed. If potential dates don’t like what they see, they won’t bother to get to know the person inside.

    Get the dating success you deserve with these online dating tips, tricks and secrets for success!

  • Photo Shoot Tips: Wardrobe Dos and Don’ts

    The 19th century American humorist, Mark Twain, said, “Clothes make the man.” Clothing plays a considerable role in creating first impressions. Putting some thought and planning into your wardrobe choices before you arrive at your professional photo shoot will make the shoot go smoothly and ensure that your online dating profile photos convey your personality and attract the kind of dates you’re hoping for.

    gettingdressed_dateWhen you arrive at the photographer’s studio, you should be completely dressed for your shoot, including shoes, jewelry and other accessories. If you have arranged to be photographed in more than one outfit, you should have the other outfits ready to change into.

    Tip: Hang each change of clothing on a separate hanger. Place shoes, jewelry and accessories in a plastic bag and loop the handles over the hanger head so everything is together. You’ll be able to change quickly and won’t waste time hunting around for the right earrings.

    For dating headshots that attract attention, follow these wardrobe tips:

    1. Plan your outfits ahead of time and try them on, complete with jewelry and accessories. Make sure everything fits comfortably and makes you look fantastic.
    2. Check for stains, missing buttons and ripped seams or hems and correct the problem or select another outfit.
    3. Make sure clothing is clean and pressed.
    4. Stick with solid colors that complement your skin tone and hair color.
    5. Avoid stripes and busy patterns. They take attention away from your face.
    6. Choose dark rather than pastel or bright colors. Dark colors create dramatic contrast and put the focus on your face.
    7. Avoid white tops. They create glare and pull attention away from your face. However, white collars can be worn under sweaters or vests.
    8. Keep your jewelry small and simple. You want the spotlight on you, not your jewelry.
    9. Other things to avoid: turtlenecks, red (except as an accent color), bulky layers and anything that glitters.
  • Dress to Impress: What the Well-Dressed Guy Is Wearing

    The casual wardrobe style embraced by many in the tech industry is changing the way American men dress. Ties and suits are out in executive boardrooms where every day is now casual Friday. Today’s well-dressed business professionals are wearing plain, dark t-shirts or open-collared Oxford shirts with a sport coat over jeans or Dockers.

    Casual date night attireSo what does this have to do with dating attire which has traditionally been more casual than business wear? In putting its seal of approval on casual dress, the business world has expanded the acceptance of casual attire, making it appropriate wear at upscale restaurants and events. But it has also imposed a few standards on a dress code that, until now, was comfortably free-form:

    1. Oxfords must be pressed but not starched and worn with the top 2 (but not more) buttons unbuttoned.
    2. T-shirts must be solid colors, preferably black, free of slogans or art and unwrinkled.
    3. Heavily wrinkled Dockers or slacks and saggy jeans are out. The slightly-crushed look (think dryer-folded smooth or air-dried) is in; although lightly-pressed is a sharper look for business and more formal occasions. Although wrinkly, seer-sucker is still a fashion faux pas.
    4. Slacks and sport coat fabrics should be season appropriate: wool, cashmere and corduroy in fall and winter; cottons and linens, bamboo and hemp in spring and summer. Only jeans are appropriate year-round, although only for slacks, not jackets this year.
    5. Long pants are in. Unless you’re on the beach, shorts, boardshorts and anything else that exposes your legs are out.
    6. Layers are still a good look but lighten them up for summer with cotton cardigans and nylon jackets.