Confidence is the courage to be who you are, especially when you’re dating again. You must first acknowledge your past and learn from your mistakes if you want to move on with confidence. Don’t beat yourself up for past inadequacies or failures anymore.
It’s time to encourage yourself to start this new path, be your best coach and teach yourself to be self-confident, especially when dating again.
When you decide it’s time to start dating again but lack the backbone to go for it, follow these strategies for building confidence and making a good first impression:
You Have to Start Somewhere
The big obstacle for dating again is to actually start dating. It’s awkward and uncomfortable whether you’re confident or not. But being single offers a new chance to find exactly what you are looking for. Start by going out with your single friends to get into the groove again.
If you’re not into going out to bars at this point, online dating is a good way to meet new people without too much pressure. Write an honest (and excellent) profile and add a current photo so you don’t have to worry about covering up any lies. Or, join a club that offers group excursions for singles.
Make a Good First Impression
The saying “you have seven seconds to make a first impression” still rings true when it comes to your appearance on a date. A man in a tailored shirt with clean fingernails is going to have a much better chance at making a good impression than one in clothes that don’t fit with nose hairs hanging out.
Clean yourself up, get a new shirt that fits and have a shave. Get some high-quality hair care products to get rid of damaged hair and roll a hint of perfume or cologne on your neck. These are simple ways to exude confidence.
Once you are looking good, avoid the awkward silence by arming yourself with topics of conversation for your dates.
Practice Non-Verbal Cues
The ways you present and express yourself is through non-verbal communication and it is just as important as verbal cues. For example, bad posture gives the impression that you don’t care about your body and that you aren’t happy with yourself. Feel and convey confidence by:
- Rolling your shoulders back and standing up straight
- Having good eye contact
- Initiating a strong handshake (ladies, this goes for you too!)
- Keeping the tone of your voice cool
- Giving your full attention when your date is talking
Take inventory of how many times you said sorry today when it wasn’t your place to be apologizing. While it might seem polite or humble to say sorry even when it’s not your fault, it actually conveys weakness. Find out what drives you to say sorry and take steps to overcome that fear.
If you’re in a situation to apologize, try using thank you instead of sorry. Check out Yao Xiao’s advice that is artistically visualized in her comics:
- Instead of “Sorry I’m always late,” say, “Thank you for your patience.”
- Instead of “Sorry I’m rambling,” say, “Thank you for listening.”
It’s completely normal to lose your self-worth. Remind yourself of the tasks you have accomplished and understand that self-confidence is perpetuated by resilience. Now get out there and start dating again!