Online dating conversation starters may seem contrived or disingenuous, but it’s all in the way you do it.
Today, 22% of relationships start online, thats why online dating conversation starters are so important. Aside from being introduced through mutual friends, online dating is now the second most popular way to meet someone.
But to avoid ending up being featured in articles about the absolute worst in pick-up lines, you might need a little help coming up with that perfect thing to say.
In this post, we’re offering you our top ten online dating conversation starters that are creative, funny, and really allow you get to know someone beyond the superficial level.
You can spend forever crafting the perfect online dating profile, but it won’t matter if you don’t know what to say!
Use these to help make you comfortable around each other before the first date rolls around!
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1. Learn What They Don’t Like
One of the best online dating conversation starters we’ve heard:
“So, what’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?”
It may seem bold, but this reminds the person you’re messaging that we’re all in the same boat when it comes to online dating. It’s a great way to make talking feel less like an interview or an audition and more like a chance to commiserate.
Plus, by asking this question, you can avoid making the same mistakes of this past partner. You’ll learn what food they hate, if they’re turned off by people who come on too strong, or just where they definitely don’t want to be taken.
It will also help you to weed out people whose expectations are too high, or who just seem rude or cruel to others.
2. Reference A Blast From The Past
Nostalgia is everywhere. Show you’re in on the trend – and throw an unexpected online conversation starter someone’s way – by asking what they think a celebrity, band, or reality show star is up to now.
Ask something like, “When do you think Justin Timberlake is gonna drop a new single?” or “If you had to hang out with a Spice Girl, which one would you pick and why?”
People hear the same three lines every day online – go beyond the mind-numbing “hey what up.”
3. Their Favorite Place
Asking someone “What’s your favorite place to go in town?” won’t just help you to plan the perfect date. It will also give you a clue into what they like to do in their spare time.
If they’re readers, maybe it’s a bookstore. If they’re into music, maybe it’s a concert hall. Plus, you could always “accidentally” run into them.
4. The Last Thing
Starting a question with “What’s the last thing” allows you to fill in the blank with pretty much anything you want. Ask them what the last concert they bought a ticket to, when was the last time they called their parents, or what the last movie they saw was.
This is an easy question that will also give you insight into the kinds of things they like.
5. Share Vulnerabilities
Reality check: we all fall on our faces from time to time.
But you’re looking for someone who is OK with laughing at their mistakes. Asking about embarrassing moments means you can also gauge their comfort level with you, depending on how much they choose to reveal.
6. Ask About Pets
This may seem like one of the more standard online dating conversation starters, but remember that whether or not they own a pet will have a big impact on how much time they can spend away from home.
Asking if they have a furry friend will help you decide if you need to plan a date closer to home, so they can take the dog out if you decide to make the evening last a little longer.
7. Ask About Their Schedules
No, we don’t mean boring things like “What time do you get to work?” Ask if they’re early birds or night owls.
What’s the first thing they do when they wake up? The last thing they do before they fall asleep?
Do they have something they have to eat for breakfast every day?
Asking this shows an interest into the little details of someone’s life.
8. Dream Big
The best online dating conversation starters are those that play into the sense of possibility and excitement that come from a new relationship.
Play into that by asking things like, “If money were no object and you could quit your job tomorrow, where would you go and what would you do?”
Everyone likes to have a fantasy, and asking someone you’re chatting with about theirs will help you to get to know what they value most in life. Plus, it puts them in a dream-like state of mind.
9. Play Desert Island
Asking them to play this well-known party game is both fun and revealing. Message them and ask them to tell you which book, which movie, and which tv show they would take with them if they were going to be stranded on a desert island for the rest of their lives?
You could also ask which objects from their life they would take with them – sure to reveal a lot about a person and their priorities.
10. Ask For Their Advice
People love feeling like their opinion matters – show the person you’re chatting with you care about theirs!
For example, if someone’s profile has a lot of travel pictures, or if their profile photo references a clear hobby, ask something like, “Hey, I noticed you seem to travel a lot. Any suggestions for my 4-day weekend?”
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This will allow them to talk about the things they’re passionate about – which is one of those great online dating conversation starters that helps you to really learn about a person, not a profile.
You’re Ready To Talk For Hours With These Online Dating Conversation Starters
Once in a while you meet someone you just click with and the conversation is effortless. You find yourselves talking about everything and anything for hours without effort. If your friends ask you about your new online special someone, you’re often surprised that you know little about where he or she grew up, what they does for a living or any of the other boring, practical questions that seem to color early getting-to-know-you dating conversations. A simple conversation can help you discover a lot about someone like their favorite super hero, the strengths they value, what he or she learned while traveling through Spain or that you share a passion for Asian cuisine. Conversation can reveal a person’s personal values, world views, hopes and dreams, expectations and goals, and the big question: are you compatible? Could you build a relationship together?
Awkward silences can happen – even online. These awesome conversation starters will help to prevent them, encourage the person you’re chatting with to let their guard down, and even help you to feel more relaxed! Online dating conversation starters may seem contrived or disingenuous, but it’s all in the way you do it. The question should come to you easily and naturally, so don’t ask your questions like you’re following a script. That will be awkward and not elicit the response you want. We give you a list of some of our tried and true online dating conversation starters, but you can use them in any order, or only ask one. The great thing about a conversation starter is that it starts the conversation. Once you ask one of your questions, the conversation will just go from there. If you ask about his or her favorite movie, they may ask you about yours, etc. So also be ready to answer back your question if they ask you.
There’s nothing wrong with planning ahead, especially when it comes to making a great first impression.
For more tips on how to create the perfect online profile, ideas on what to say, and advice on how to present yourself online, check out our blog.