If you’ve spent any length of time trying to date online, then you’ll know how difficult it can be. You’ve probably read 100s of online dating tips in a bid for success.
Looking for a partner takes a lot of time! And with 40 million Americans using online dating, that’s a lot of profiles to check.
Just consider how long it takes to write a decent profile and upload good photos. Then you have to trawl through your search results and craft interesting first messages.
That’s not even taking into account the time spent on the dates themselves.
But, we’re here to help. Try out these online dating tips to save you time!
Don’t be afraid of being yourself.
You might want to be more generic in the hope of attracting a wider range of people.
But if you’re too generic, you might end up wasting time in conversations with the wrong people. If they don’t know what you’re into, they don’t know what you have in common.
You’ll have seen the profiles yourself. Everyone loves “going out with friends” and “staying at home with a movie and a bottle of wine.” Don’t be that person.
So be yourself and use your interests or quirkiness as a ‘filter’ to screen out people who just won’t be interested.
Maybe you’re chronically shy and you’re worried about the whole process. Try these tips and get past the fear.
Likewise, if you know you will not date people with children, then use that in your search criteria.
It’ll narrow the number of people you can message. But you won’t waste time on people who aren’t right for you in the long run.
It’s alright to say no to people.
Sometimes you can be too nice and reply to every message you get. After all, you know how bad it feels when people don’t reply to your messages.
But maybe you don’t like a person’s photos or their profile leaves you cold. Perhaps you have nothing in common. Then it’s alright not to reply.
Sending a message gives the wrong impression, even if you say you’re not into them.
If you know you’re not interested, then not replying doesn’t just save you time. It also saves them time.
Some people go on dates just for “practice”. Don’t do that. It just wastes everybody’s time.
Only go on a date with someone if you’re genuinely interested.
Actually use the profile space you have!
It’s amazing how many users leave their profile blank. Or maybe they write “I’ll fill this in later”.
Don’t bother messaging users like that.
If they can’t take the time to write out a profile then they aren’t serious about dating. And they’ll just waste your time.
Focus on messaging people who’ve taken the time to write something. It doesn’t have to be War and Peace. It just has to show they’re serious about dating.
But you should make the most of your profile space too. Give people something to talk about in their first message to you.
Pay attention to the type of messages you get.
We’ve all had the “Hey, ‘sup?” style message.
It can be nerve-wracking to send a message to a stranger. But it doesn’t hurt to put a little more effort in.
So if you get a lazy message like that, feel free to save your time and ignore it.
You can also tell when the message has been cut and pasted. Do they only talk about themselves and never refer to your profile?
There’s a good chance they didn’t even read it.
If they’re just sending the same message to everyone, then cut your losses and move on.
Though, you can save time with a customizable stock phrase
Using cut and paste messages can be a no-no. But there’s nothing stopping you from having a basic template that you use each time you send a message.
Perhaps it’s a quirky way to sign off your intro. Maybe it’s a fun question that always provokes interesting conversations.
Just make sure the message is still tailored to the recipient. You want them to know there’s a reason you’re sending a message.
Feel free to keep your message to the point though. Most people use online dating apps and don’t want to scroll through endless paragraphs.
OkCupid reports that messages of 40-60 characters get the best response rate. So maybe treat your messages like tweets!
If you’re not sure what to say, try these guaranteed conversation starters.
Please pay attention to your photo!
We don’t like to admit that we’re swayed by how people look, but humans are a visual species!
Besides, given the problems around anonymity online, online dating tips like this one should help you stay safe.
Try and avoid the following types of photos:
- Group photos
- Blurry, out of focus photos
- Inconsistent photos
- Photos that don’t actually look like you
Group photos are always bad because no one wants to play Where’s Wally to figure out who’s in every image. And if you look different in 4 photos, people might struggle to believe it’s you.
There’s no point using a fake photo. And don’t use one that doesn’t really represent you. After all, you’ll just disappoint your date and waste your time.
Find a photo that shows you in your best light. Or, better yet, book a professional online photo session, and get ready to impress.
Remember you can’t change other people.
You might see someone who ticks most of your boxes. But it says on their profile that they’re only interested in casual dating.
If you want a committed relationship, then don’t message them. You won’t be able to change their mind, and it isn’t fair to try.
This is one of the harder online dating tips to follow, especially if you really like the look of someone. But just think. You can spend the time you’ve saved from them on someone else.
The biggest of the online dating tips – actually make a date!
Maybe you’re already talking to someone. You seem to have things in common and you enjoy reading their messages.
But it’s been 10 days and there’s still no plans for a date.
The whole point is to have dates, so feel free to suggest something. Coffee can take the pressure off the date. Meeting for lunch at the weekend keeps the day free if you find you hit it off.
It might be an idea to suggest a quick chat on the phone beforehand to check you get on. Try setting up a separate Skype just for dates, or use Google Voice.
Then when your first date turns into a second, you can use these tips to land a third!
Just remember that putting yourself out there really can be tough. But if you follow these online dating tips, you’ve given yourself a much better chance!